1. Advent

O come, o come, Emmanuel...

I was struck today by the longing represented in one little candle lit to signify the beginning of the advent season.  The word "advent" comes from the Latin adventus, meaning coming.  The season doesn't only commemorate the longing for the Messiah's birth, but also a longing for his return.

Today begins a season of waiting and preparation for what is coming.  In all that I hope for, is the return of the King something I long for, and am preparing for?  Is the hope I have in him like that candle, a steady flame illuminating the darkness, so that what is hidden may be revealed, and that those in the land of darkness may begin to see?

Grateful

I love Thanksgiving!  I have been telling my students about it all week and asking them what they are thankful for.

I have a myriad of things that I am grateful for, but here are a few:
-work that challenges me
-family, my own and the many "adopted" ones
-my visit to Ecuador in August
-having a car
-surprises
-that people i love are only a phone call away
-sometimes they're even closer
-God's timing
-God's unconditional loving-kindness
-Skype
-the hope of change
-that i got to see my sis so much this last year!
-hugs

I could unpack all of those even more.  But I would like to make a reference to 1 Thess 5:18, as a reminder that being thankful isn't only for one day of the year: "give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."  What are you thankful for?

amongst the papers

I lived in the US for four years.  You would think that I would remember something as important as my social security number.
But when my university application asked for it, I drew a blank. It stopped the process and I had to find one of the many suitcases in my aunt's attic and leaf through random documents from lives past in order to find it.
I found it, though.
Which made me think of when I got it in Colorado, something like ten years ago.  I remember thinking, "Now I will be in the system permanently.  I am a number."
They may be remembering me soon, if this application process gets me anywhere...but now I have begun remembering them--that large, diverse and vibrant collective called the American system.

Fan mail: To Life

Hi,

This is Little Peanut, yeah, from the Gallery.

Just wanted to say that I really, really love your show.  I am always on the edge of my seat because I don't know what you'll do next or what crazy props you'll bring on-stage.  I particularly like how you use the kooky ordinary people from the audience as assistants.  Maybe someday you could pick me!

Keep up the good work, and all the best!

Little Peanut

P.S. Oh, sometimes your timing is just weird, though.  You have these long lulls when nothing happens, and then suddenly everything crashes on-stage at once.  Maybe you have a reason for these sequences, but you know, from the Gallery perspective, it's a bit tedious...just sayin'.
Thumbs up, anyway!

blurb

it's november
uncharacteristically, it's 10 degrees
incongruously, a man in the metro ate an ice cream cone
"i can't brain today, i has the dumb" on a bearded man's bag
right next to "i drink coffee for YOUR protection"
and as usual, i am amused by the small details of the day
slogans and cones and errant weather
to make a november day just a bit
easier to bear

At the Book Fair

Salaisuus by Heljä Laukkanen-Karala

My friend Heljä has an art exhibition in conjunction with the Helsinki Book Fair this weekend.  This popular event also combines with a music fair as well as a wining and dining fair to offer the city a veritably delicious, artsy and literary experience.

Today I spent many hours at the fair, digesting not only all-natural yogurt and fresh bread samples, but the general milieu of thousands of people interested in authors, literary works and fine foods.

I began with Heljä's paintings. She enjoys using bright colors and pointillism in her multi-layered paintings to tell stories.  Here on the left is Secret.  I particularly love how she talks about her work, "I don't know where that came from!  It just showed up!" She says about the details of her paintings as if she has no say in the final outcome.

Taking a load off my feet, I listened to my former professor's wife, Virpi Hämeen-Anttila, tell about her most recent book.  I find it interesting to meet people's spouses, it kind of rounds out the picture I have of them.  Virpi was more ordinary than I expected her to be, but by the amount of audience present, I could tell she's a popular author.  "Every writer has a recurring rash that they scratch in their works, " she commented about the themes that run through any author's repertoire.  "Mine is the relationship of parents and children; what happens when a child is not loved, its consequences."

It goes without saying that I didn't leave empty-handed from the fair.  In addition to a work of non-fiction, I found a delightful voice from the music section: Mor Karbasi.  I had never heard of her before I picked up her CD, but with a brief description from the enthusiastic vendor and a bit of intuition, I brought her home and have been listening to her beautiful voice interpreting rhythms of Morocco, Israel and Spain all rolled into one poetic presentation.  I am enchanted:

as it is

     Condemnation
     Propitiation
     Appeasement
     Advocate

The first I don't live with because the second occurred for the deeds that bring on the first.  The third is another way to express the second.  The fourth is now what the second is on my behalf when the first wants to finagle its lying feelings to smother the life I have been given.  Thankfully the fourth, that perfect second, never loses a case and now I am the fifth and sixth, walking in the seventh, rejoicing in the eighth.

     Righteous
     Forgiven
     Truth
     Peace

a pearl

will this day
be a pearl on the string
just swinging prettily around the neck of the universe?
nah, i will stack it
making a stepping stone into the future
learning, leaping, falling, climbing to new heights
that way even today
is no longer self-contained, but connected
forming an essential block in the steps of change, yet
at the same time still
meant to create a pattern of beauty---
a pearl, lustrously declaring the ingenuity of divine design.

Updating you...

Yes, yes. The minute I get off vacation you don't hear a peep from me.  I am back to six a.m. wake-ups and days filled with grammar lessons and verb conjugations.  My teaching lessons are also dotted with interesting tidbits that my students tell me.  They have recently educated me about new technological advances and the biography of the Finnish composer Jean Sibelius!

Yesterday I also took the GRE--General Revised Exam--that is the prerequisite for entry into any American graduate school.  I had balked at taking this exam for so long, considering it to be a huge feat beyond my grasp.  Now it is behind my with a curious lack of fanfare and nerves.  I have no idea how well I did, or if I really will end up in the US for further studies.  I am also considering studying in the UK, buying a flat in Finland, becoming a summer cottage hermit or an eccentric artist, a human rights activist or a bum....hahaha.  Just kidding.  What I mean is, regardless of the steps I take, it is the Lord that directs, and I am curious about what doors He will open and which ones he will close.

There's a beauty to Fall that is melancholy.  Today, the sunshine is caressing each yellow, red and green leaf in the backyard so gently, it seems he is whispering his last summer secrets and sweet farewells.  It is a good day to go out and let the sun whisper to me too. 

blustery

today the trees shared with me their most secret wish
no more roots, mossy trunks, seasonal leaves
a calm stationary life
instead they want to be foaming ocean waves
at least, that's what they sounded like in the wild wind