A necklace

It seems that life is intent on reminding me of the validity and ubiquitousness of my favorite word: juxtapose (to place side by side, especially for comparison or contrast, fyi).  The sorrows and joys of life are lined up side by side, one dark, one light, followed by another dark one, then perhaps a light one--like beads strung on a necklace.

It seems that there has been a fair share of dark in life recently, as pertains to those around me and their processes.  My aunt has cancer.  A friend has heartbreak.   My own thoughts and energy have been murky.

But on a brighter note, my parents will move back to Finland in two days.  They are returning to a land that has changed much since they lived here, and from a country that is the opposite in weather, temperament and location.  It will not be a painless change, but I trust it will be a good one.

Then, along with this wonderful news of family reunited, there is once again the shadow side of loss. My uncle passed away.  I don't grieve on his behalf because he went somewhere that I long to go, to the other side of finite time, to a joyous eternal life.  But on this side of time, I feel the loss.  I know my aunt and cousins and their spouses and children have to deal with a new reality that is missing an important piece.  My uncle and aunt had been married for over half their lives; they met when my aunt was 14. It's not just a hole in your life when such a person passes away, it's a part of yourself that goes, too.

So, I sit here at the kitchen table, staring out at a brilliant blue sky and sunlit apartment buildings, contemplating the intricacies of life to the rhythm of the wall clock and my own keyboard typing. Light. Dark. Light. Dark. Each bead of the necklace is carefully juxtaposed by the one beside it, adding luster, adding beauty, adding content.

May we wear it with hope, ever with hope.

Flashbacks

I walked through the early afternoon air, crisp with winter chill. I could hear the snow crunching under my boots and experience my senses reviving with outdoor smells. And that's when I was suddenly transported to you, dear mountains of Austria, where I always find rejuvenation and rest for my soul as I melt into your landscape and breath your scent of sweet earth.

I saw a picture of a friend from California. He left me a comment in the online world that brought a smile to my face and the memory of teas exchanged. And I was transported back in time to you, dear friends and community of the US, where your smiling faces and hugs warmed my life like the constant sunshine of Orange County.

I listened to two men talk animatedly in Spanish in my office, the younger one alive with tales of his visit to South America and with gestures and expressions so characteristic of people who live there. And I was poignantly aware of the fact that people here lack the communal aspect that can be found in your people, my lovely Ecuador.

Aaah, this is a hug sent out to the places I have been, the people I have known and love, the events that have shaped me and the lands that have awakened my imaginations. I would be a far poorer creature but for the wealth of colors, memories and people that compose my history and my journeys thus far. If I could wrap my arms around you--country or person--I would. But since I can't, suffice to say that you are in my heart.