Reflecting

As I flipped through my old journal--you know, the paper kind where you actually have to use a pen and you don't upload pictures and can't as easily backspace what you write?--well, it was a strange sensation to find myself staring back at me from the words on the page. The year of 2005 was one of the most mulling in my life, and in the summer as I graduated from uni, I was just in the beginning of the journey to recuperation. I had so many fears and questions about coming to Finland, working and wondering what in the world I was meant to be doing, and if I was ever going to have some sense of normalcy again. I even wrote down that I didn't know what I wanted, then ammended it with some hopes; not seeing how they would happen, but just to get them out of my thoughts into a physical form in the pages of my journal.

I cried as I read over them this weekend. God has answered each request. And you know, they have all been answered in his timing, or else he is still answering them. After all, life is composed of processes, and I am still in the midst of many that include getting an education and preparation for the future. A year and a half ago, I had no clue what today would look like, where I'd be, or how I would feel. I could look forward to it, believing it was coming, but in the meantime trusting that God's hand was at work in many areas of my life that needed his truth to come fix the perspectives that were skewed and his love to reach the me that was in hiding.

All this is to say that it is refreshing and encouraging to see so clearly that I am at a place I only hoped to be over a year ago. Throughout this process it is good to express and share these moments of awareness and delight in the One who sustains me and in whose hands my life rests. I am humbled. I am thankful. I am excited. I am loved. I am hopeful.