about Finnylanders

This is my third fall in Finland. I thought I would mark the occasion with some gathered thoughts along the lines of, "you know you've been in Finland too long when..."

- You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the store and which can be sacrificed to garbage

- You don't think twice about putting the wet dishes away in the cupboard to dry

- You pass a grocery store and think "Wow, I wonder if I need to go in an buy something!"

- Your native language has seriously deteriorated, now you begin to "eat medicine," "open the television," "close the lights," and tell someone "you needn't to!"

- "No comment" becomes a conversation strategy

- You hear loud-talking passengers on the train. You immediately assume:
a. they are drunk
b. they are Swedish-speaking
c. they are American
d. all of the above

- You accept that 80 degrees C in a sauna is chilly, but 20 degrees C outside is freaking hot.

- You don't think twice when given a spoon to eat your cake.

- Upon hearing Finnish when abroad, you immediately duck for cover and hope they go away. Whatever you do, you in NO WAY, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE utter a single Finnish word (By jove, they might want to come and talk to you, as if that was completely acceptable Finnish behaviour when not in Finland!)

- You've become lactose intolerant.

And if your brow is now furrowed deeply because you just didn't get it, don't worry. Only 5.2 million Finns get it. Sometimes I still can't believe I get it.