First Advent: Light

Advent--the coming of Christ into the world

Regardless of the fact that the Christ was not born in December, we in this day and age celebrate his birth in the darkest of seasons, winter.  He is the light of the world, and darkness is the best foil for light.  Suddenly what seems inky and soulless finds dimensions as a tiny flicker illuminates contours and allows us to see the world in a new and real way.

This year's first Advent also brought light into a corner of my emotional memory.  An event a few days ago triggered such a reaction that I knew it was pulling at an older string attached to events long ago.  As I prayed through it with friends, I was able to see where darkness hadn't given way to light.  How important it is to allow Truth to illuminate every aspect of our lives, to come in and free us from wrong reactions, habits and thoughts that makes us grow crooked.  There is freedom in the Light.

In him was life, 

and that life was the light of men. 

The light shines in the darkness, 

but the darkness has not understood it.

Jn.1:4,5

Winter!

candles in the window. on the table.
snow flurries.  now they fall gently.
now they dissipate in the wind like smoke.
now they rage like ghostly flames,
creating a barrier of white, consuming the
backyard's natural shapes. work awaits
onscreen, waylaid for days by other more
fun things to do. and the luxury of time.
the inner quietness of acceptance and
peace, of space inside to embrace newness
oldness oneness loss reality and
possibility.  you. me. us. Him. wishing to
better understand the patterns and the
lines that connect one thing with another.

GLS

We had the Global Leadership Summit here in Helsinki this weekend.  It's a conference for Christian Leaders and takes place worldwide, although it originated in the US as Willow Creek Church.  There were about 700 attendees and speakers from business, church and political arenas.

As a result, I am distilling a bunch of things beneath the surface, things not only related to leadership but my place in kingdom business.  For this season, my place is here.  I know that, and I have known that since March.  But now my heart has caught up with me and I care.  It hit me like a ton of bricks. I care about what happens in this country and that people here would get free of the things that bind them and blind them.

I have great expectations for what is to come.

what is real?

I see these pages have been silent.  It's not for want of things to write about, that's for sure.  Perhaps it's that the space inside of me is being stretched and pulled and all the things that matter, aren't matter.  They are invisible, yet real, the way all things are real as they are part of the energy of the created order. 

I have been reading a series of fantasy books from my childhood.  Written by one of my favorite authors, Madeleine L'Engle, they follow the growth and adventures of Meg, Charles Wallace and Calvin in understanding dimensions and reality.  Old books are like old friends, and reading these again as an adult is just as fun.  I curled up with A Wrinkle in Time and read it aloud to a friend of mine on a long train ride this past weekend.  It is even more fun to share the strange yet familiar world--of tessering to different planets, of the power of love over evil and the quirky characters who are not perfect--with a listening ear.  It reminds me of childhood nights crept into my sister's room and reading to her when we were supposed to be sleeping.

So mostly, as I stretch and grow, I am reminded of how little I know.  How little I understand of what is real.  How I think there must be so much God wants to show us, but how little we care or are willing to be undressed of our perceptions and opinions and judgements.  If we did, we could move forward with greater ease, opting for the freedom of Christ, the peace of humility and the certainty of love.

Londres

In such a large city, no one cares what you look like, where you're going, what you're up to.  It is a city chock full of different languages and peoples, all rubbing elbows at the crosswalks and in the red double-decker buses.  They share underground and train rides all round this massive city, some blocking out the auditory melange of public transportation by reading, others by listening to their music, or even getting lost in reverie. 
Yesterday I walked down to the Thames, just to enjoy the feel of the city.  I saw a man braving the traffic on his bike, dressed in a fuzzy green crocodile costume with a little tail sticking out behind him!  Two Ukrainian Jehova's Witnesses approached me, apparently thinking I was Russian and a tourist.  The camera must have given me away, because only a few minutes before, some lost Americans asked me for directions, thinking I was a local.
Friends from different walks of life have figured in my brief stay already.  It is a joy to find oneself in the warm circumference of friends, connecting again after years or months of separate lives.  I find myself living the moment, keenly aware that I may look like a tourist when I whip out a camera, but I feel no compulsion to go see tourist sights at the moment.  I am currently with lovely Helen sitting in Kaffein, enjoying the loud milieu of a cafe with orange walls, plenty of clinking plates and pop classics that I can occasionally hear over the din.  I haven't figured out what language is being spoken at the table next to mine....ah wait.  I asked the waitress.  Albanian.
Yes, I am breathing other air, having other thoughts, seeing other faces than I usually see.  And once in a while, it does a body good! :)

Personal Update

A rainy Sunday greets me. The season around here is changing, slowly but surely.  You know, at the end of the summer, I wasn't sure I had the motivation or the strength to keep teaching English.  But now, as the days roll by and I've reconnected with my students, I find great fun and satisfaction in our class times.  I've been with some of them for over a year, and that brings a stronger sense of connection.  I don't have enough classes at the moment, but finding more work is in the agenda.  I'm just thankful that for each day, God gives the strength and joy to live well.

Things that bring me joy:
skyping with my sis who's in Jerusalem
leading small group on Thursdays
hangin' out with Latinos at church
plans with friends to visit friends
a trip to England next week
good conversations about theology & life
when brothers come home from uni
the privilege of living joys and trials
alongside others
hope in the face of difficulties

your promise

like a universe inside the palms of my hands
glowing in an orb of swirling light, it warms
my eyes, my fingertips, my very soul. i know
to let go would leave me bereft on a fierce
stormy sea driven by winds of emptiness.

so i'll keep it, ever so gently, in open palms
so small and yet too big for even my colorful
imagination to grasp, it mesmerizes me and
becomes part of everything i see.  there is no
longer a reality without it, without you. and
then it's not enough anymore to merely gaze,

eat, you say, to satisfy your desire. an obedient
hand to my mouth and i swallow--there can
be no going back; cuz there's no red, no green,
no hue without it, just dull gray misguided
wanderlust that peels off the weathered and
broken surfaces of forgotten civilizations. and

now i am full, of sweet honey light and your
goodness, brimming with the deep mystery:
i in you, and you in me.

Russia vs. Finland

Observation:
Russian children have no fear of performing in public.  It's like pulling teeth to get Finnish kids on the same level.  How do you cultivate that?  I am simply astounded.  What courage and what fun.

Ps. 9:10, Pr. 18:10

Those who know your name trust in you,
    for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.


Synonyms: Know, comprehend, understand--imply being aware of meanings. 
To know  is to be aware of something as a fact or truth. 
To comprehend  is to know something thoroughly and to perceive its relationships to certain other ideas, facts, etc.  
To understand  is to be fully aware not only of the meaning of something but also of its implications.

Trust is built through comprehending and understanding the character of the one you know. Do you trust the Lord?  Do you know his name?  Search for him, turn your affections to him and you can be sure he will never forsake you (to abandon, to give up, to leave, to desert, to renounce).  In other words, ya can't get rid of him!

Among his names:
El Shaddai--The All-Sufficient One
Elohim--God our Creator
El Roi--The God who sees
El Olam--The Everlasting God
Jehovah Shalom--God my Peace
Jehovah Rapha--The God who Heals 
Adonai--The Lord my Master

Also:

The name of the Lord is a fortified tower;
    the righteous run to it and are safe.

one of those days...

What happens when your best is just not enough?

I'm back in Huittinen for two weeks.  My kids are active 10-14 year-olds this time and there are moments when I just can't get a grip. There's one that has trouble concentrating and thus he distracts others, I have various levels of language competency that I am only now discovering, and there is often so much going on I gotta wonder what issue I need to address first.  

Sigh. I have so much to learn about children's education.  Thankfully, I usually teach adults, but I just had to get it out...it's been one of those days.  But it's over, the kids are outside and they are in once piece...well, except for the one that left crying.  I couldn't figure out what happened with her. And tomorrow is a new day.